Lot of people in the world right now trying to “humble” themselves and “stay grounded” with mindfulness apps (silenceyrass, alonedaddy, etc.. just a few examples). But the biggest problem is that you just get more focused and not more humble.

For $500.99 i’ll come around once a month and beat your ass on a set day/time.

I have trained in underground hard fist, hidden temple water bending, cursed sword wielding, basically any lost/dark art.

That’s right you aren’t just getting a regular ass beat with this package, you might be getting a sophisticated “oily dragon fist” punch, which instantly dislocates your sternum.

You also, maybe, if the sun if at the right angle, get a “lost temple twist fist barrage.” Right now i’m only up to four twist fists in a row but that should be enough got a good ass beat.

If you’re lookin’ for a regular ass beat, well go ahead and check out my other packages.

Also if you purchase, Squarespace will need me to upgrade to allow for recurring charges. I’ll be in touch about that and you might need to re-purchase after your first ass beat. But we will cross that road when it comes.


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